Choices // 6.19.14

Over the past couple months of (partial) unemployment, I've slipped into becoming an online article junkie: reading article after article explaining the best ways to find a new job, be a better significant other, advance a career the fastest, and become the healthiest. It's opinion overload with many of these self-appointed experts blatantly contradicting each other. I'm not saying to stop reading for self improvement. Maybe I'm advocating books and verified sources (background check please!). But what I really want to talk about is life experiences. We're all so concerned with everyone else's opinions because we want what they seem to have that it's easy to forget no one and nothing is perfect. I'm never going to be a perfect significant other and I'll never find a perfect guy, but my future marriage isn't doomed.

Life is about choices and timing. Timing is out of our control, but choices are ours to make. Emotions and feelings may sway us to make a choice, but they're also tricky. Happiness is fleeting. We've all heard that one. But that's why choices are so important. I've chosen the people at the core of my life, not because they handle every situation perfectly, but because I see their flaws and hearts and I made a choice to love each person. Of course, I've been hurt countless times, even if the hurt only lasted a moment, but it's not personal! The hurt comes from other people making choices and sometimes it has nothing to do with us. I would dare to say most of the time it has nothing to do with us. We're just naturally self-centered. The choices other people make do not devalue you or your choices. They might not line up, like never hearing back from a job, or a new friend, or love interest. But guess what, you're still you and I'm still me and we're pretty awesome. Just wait until the choices align. I have witnessed the most beautiful marriages and job match-ups.

Yeah, you can make yourself better. Introspection and self-improvement are a necessary part of growing, but you don't need to be the someone else's "better". Be you. I'll be me. There's no one size fits all in this life and no one should dictate what should be accomplished before a certain age. I don't need to take a gap year in another country right now, but I have amazing friends who are passionate about that next step in their lives. I don't need to be single so I can find myself or experience life. Being single is fun, but it's important to me to find someone who wants to be on my team as much as I want to be on theirs.

I could list all the reasons I love the internet and social media, but in the end, anyone can write anything and put it out there for consumption. Let's try not to overload on opinions until we combust. We all share humanness, yet we all have unique life experiences. It's knowing who you are and what you want. Although it's important to be open, this life is limited and focusing on your core values is essential. When you know what you want the lows are lower, but the highs are higher. You make choices to keep the good in. Choices that make this short life brim with love and fulfillment.

<3 Taylor